Was I bad? Was I good? You decide.

I do not know whether I should be ashamed of myself for yesterday or if I should be proud. Maybe a little of both.

Apparently, last night I was having issues. These are issues involving shopping when hungry. Never a good thing. So I bought a bag of chips and jalapeno cheddar dip and two (2!) of these really yummy Klondike Oreo ice cream sandwiches which are really yummy (did I mention they were yummy?) and I ate them! And 3 hot dogs. And a bagel, dripping with butter. Not a good thing.

I can say that there was no pop, there was the refreshing goodness of water. There was that slight twinge again, the one that looked at the Mountain Dew bottles. Then it looked at the Diet Coke with Lime bottles. And lusted briefly for both. But I said No! - quite firmly and said I would drink water. Yet I let myself be seduced by the siren call of all the fattening food I bought.

However, while watching CSI:, I grabbed the weights and started lifting them again. And then, during the commercials, I got up and started walking around the living room, carrying the weights, lifting them and walking briskly. I did this during commercials and even part of the show itself, both CSI: & Without A Trace.

It didn't hurt, I found my breathing was accelerated but not rapid, there was no asthma attack.

So, even though I did not make healthy choices when it came to food yesterday, I'm pleased about the exercise. This is big for me.

It was interesting that the Without A Trace episode was regarding a woman who hated the way she looked, had surgery on one of those reality shows (this one was called American Goddess) and ended up even more miserable than she had been when she started.

It gave me a lot of (please pardon the pun) food for thought. I know that I'll never be one of those women that obsesses over her appearance like this poor character did last night but I would like to be healthy. Right now? My goal is to get under 300 pounds. Who knows? Maybe I am already there. Probably not.

Lioness, you asked if my clothes were feeling looser. Yes and no. It depends on the piece of clothing. I usually like my shirts to be loose anyway so they are not a good way for me to determine anything. I think I may try measuring myself this weekend and then start tracking progress that way.

My ultimate goal is to weigh 180 again. That is what I weighed in high school and I looked good, I just didn't appreciate it because I was surrounded by size 4's. If I can get there, I will try to get to 150. That would mean I'd have to lose an entire person. That's going to be tough. But I can get there. I know I can do this.